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Sometimes.

November 17, 20236 min read

There needs to be a break down to have a breakthrough

And sometimes.

It’s a full on Mental health battle in the making.

Are you being honest with yourself on which yours is??

A break down? For the break through?

Or a mental health battle??

****Vulnerable post

This would be the moment that you want to check in on your peeps that you haven’t heard from them in a while 😉

Noting this is about MENTAL Health

And the examples I’m seeing with my clients and people around me… it just so happens I hit my wall (And it’s the frickin wall of China)

and am willing to be vulnerable for the point or calling out what I see, hear and feel.

You. Are not alone

I see you.

I hear you.

I experienced a full on breakdown.

“But you look so happy in all your pictures and posts”

It takes 2 seconds to flash a smile…

It takes 30 seconds of smiling to pull it together in a video/reel…

Notice I haven’t been doing many lives lately…

This is why.

The shadow side has been really loud.

My energy has been all over the map….

And all the big feels are out to play.

And it’s not from one thing.

It’s a lot of things coming crashing in, all at once.

💖How many people are you seeing with perfect posts… no vulnerability. Or. Normally posting lots, but haven’t been so much lately… check in on them.💖

And I would just like to say, I wish I was good. I think I am, and then I’m not.

I woke up fine-ish

I had a dance party in my gym this morning.. it was a blast! So much for boring cardio?? 😆

And broke down while I was in the shower

All I can say is…

I’m grateful for my circle of awesomeness

The people who have no personal agenda to who I am or what I do for a living.

They don’t judge, they don’t shame me for feeling the way I feel.

They ask me to sit in it and keep me company and sit with me. 💙

All of them knowing I have sat with them or would sit with them in a moments notice. They’ve been there.

And to the people who are in my circle who could have a personal agenda, but doesn’t allow that to get in the way of being my support when I need it.

💖Do you know who your circle is?

The gross reality seems to be,

No one wants to know when you’re melting down…. Cause ya know.

You’re airing dirty laundry…. Or being dramatic… everyone wants to believe your fine cause it’s uncomfortable when you’re not.

💥💣

This is where #mentalhealthawareness can be complete bs. You can post on Facebook all you want. But are you willing to show up if someone gets uncomfortable or is it following another trend?

💣💥If it’s the trend. Just stop.

We need more authenticity in our world.

There’s the wolves in the cheap seats waiting to pounce when you’re not fine, and want to see you fail. So they can say “I told you so” or “I knew it… she’s crazy”.

🤦🏻‍♀️Did ya put her on the crazy train, at some point??? Quite possibly 😜🙄

Pay attention to who your support is.

It’s never who you think it would be. And sometimes the ones who say they’d be there… aren’t. People tend to scatter when it gets messy.

Like many in our country/province/city/communities, over the course of the past 18 months….

Income lost, relationships lost, loved ones lost - figuratively and literally.

We ALL. Lost. Something or someone.

Or both.

I lost a few someone’s… 💔

All of them were my “earth angels”

I, like many, lost a good portion of my business.

And not for a lack of effort.

I still found ways to make shit happen for myself. Meaning, I created income, I pivoted, and pivoted again, and kept training to compete (which I believe really kept me sane).

❤️I had allll the healthy survival mechanisms

We homeschooled. (Co-parenting win!!)

I figured it out, with the help of the people around me.

I gained a lost a couple short term relationships along the way. Each of them provided a lesson - Thank you, I’m grateful 💖

But one thing, one minor thing brought it all crumbling down…

I painted a smile on my face for social media.

Cause I’m supposed to have it all together right??

Well. I thought I did.

Meanwhile…. It’s been a tough go.

I’ve done it every day for over a year.

No one asked me to…. I know.

That’s the cost of “survival mode”

Which. I realized I have been in for 7 years…

(Kept for another blog later… )

And. For me this break down, is really the BREAKTHROUGH of growth.

It can’t be explained.

It can only be experienced

I just know I was not. Okay.

And it’s okay to be not okay.

Mental health battles run in my family.

I’m acutely aware of the signs of the battle

I am also incredibly cognizant of the work it takes to keep mental health in good standing.

I am doing 80% of it.

The 20% “more” that I could be doing, is really about DOING LESS.

Not more.

It’s about doing less stuff

It’s about taking rest days.. not just physically, mentally and emotionally too.

It’s about unplugging.

It’s about distancing from people who drain you

🔥🔥It about ASKING FOR HELP - from those you know you can rely on and trust - as well as a councillor, coach or therapist as needed.

***(Not to be used interchangeably, but choose your person accordingly to where your mental health is at - for me, having a coach is healthy - a shadow coach is clearly in need at this moment 😉)

It’s about purging - your followings, “friends” lists, and your environment

It’s about disconnecting from the drama.

It’s about CHOOSING the new

The new boundaries you will keep in place.

The new habit of letting go of what’s not your and NOT even picking it up to begin with.

The new habit of valuing your peace over everything and keeping it at all costs.

The new freedom with using the word NO. It’s a complete sentence.

The new mindset of keeping your heart safe from those who don’t know what the hell they want. Or are unhealed

The willingness to ask questions and keep people at an arms length until their actions line up with their words. That’s how trust is built.

The new way of being that allows you to BE

Be in your self worth.

Be in your self respect

Be in your true authenticity

Be.

Just.

Be.

Mental health is nothing to fuck around with. Mental health is something that effects everyone at some level. It’s a spectrum and not up for a comparison

Mental health battles can stem from anything that effects you.

One persons trauma or drama could be horrific for you but a cake walk for another. It’s not. Up. For. Comparison

Get honest with yourself about where you’re at.

Reach out to your peeps.

Check in on your peeps.

Even if you’re being annoying 😜

Be honest about where you’re at.

And there are times, you have no idea where you’re at. Until it all crumbles down.

Feel the feels.

Just don’t unpack and stay there… and if it’s moving in… seek help. Please. Seek help.

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