blog image

Fear & Shame

April 15, 202410 min read

Fear & Shame Binds us in invisible chains 

Fear & Shame keeps us bound to being small, un-sparkly, dull, less than, and out of stepping into who we we’re meant to be 

As you read, I must add a trigger warning for those who were abused at a young age <3 

The work I have been doing in the last year has been all around rediscovering myself in a new way and really not much different than some of the women I work with in my practice.  I just happen to be a couple steps ahead of a few and many ahead of others. 

We are all working on  healing the feminine and masculine wounding from past relationships and childhood - wounding such as  sexualization at a young age that had us riddled with messages like, “shame on you” indicating it was our fault. 

Not the fault of the persecutor.

And then later, believe it had to be our fault because we had too much to drink and it was our responsibility to be alert and aware of those who would take advantage, as opposed to them being taught that you don’t take advantage of a girl when she’s in a vulnerable state - whether she “should’ve known better” or not. 

These are just a couple to make known in a long list of trauma’s many women, like my clients, and me, have survived and are healing from

And for me, in the process of the healing, I have rediscovered a part of me, that had me sitting in fear. Fear of being more bold - and speaking truth and wisdom of lessons learned.  Fear of being more fierce and  putting words to my shame, to let it go and dissipate  (vulnerability is shame’s best enemy) , and the fear of being more in MY feminine - as it’s individual to each woman, just like the finger print, the voice, or the nature she carries. 

The Feminine quality that was the most challenging to embrace so far, has been sensuality - I was taught that if you were sensual, you were a temptress (that’s the “nicest word” I could use to replace the profanities I’ve been called) and you “deserved whatever you got” when it came to the awful ways a man would treat a temptress - as indicated in the prior sharing. 

Guess what.  No man that is healed and in his true masculinity would treat a woman as less than, simply because she was showing her sensuality and leaning into her feminine. 

Sensuality as a Healing and healthy Feminine energy, is soft, is sensual, it is nurturing, it is yummy! It Is all about living a life of ease, creativity, enjoying the present moment. It's also about listening to your needs, to your emotions, living with an open heart and radiating that beautiful feminine energy attracting a life of abundance and joy. 
BEAUTIFUL Right? 

While in the bible - it defines it as a term for sin alongside sexual immorality, impurity, evil thoughts, passion, and orgies.

In my opinion, a patriarchal definition rather than the intended state of being or living with an open heart and radiating energy that attracts abundance and joy…. 

It’s each to their own on the interpretation AND it’s no wonder women have shut this off, in their way of being as I speak of judgement and the fear I held. 

That’s just one example of many I could pull from 

It’s the point being, stepping into my genuine divine feminine era had me scared to death of the gross statements  and actions I had been wounded by so many years ago

So much so, that I had started a whole private instagram page that I could post about this content with out fear of judgement and retribution of those who were insecure or offended by what I had to say, or how I presented myself - and then I realized I wouldn’t be in Integrity with myself by keeping it private and hidden. 

As I have posted in the past about 

“There’s this consistent message on social media about “don’t air your dirty laundry on social media” which is true... 

to some point.... 

Most don’t want to hear about the daily drama BUT there is ALWAYS AN OVERALL MESSAGE  that can be shared!!! 

Sharing that message could be the one thing someone needs to hear or read to remind them of their worth, to tell them they aren’t alone, to say “hey. You have a choice!!”  

A woman in her healthy feminine energy doesn’t mean submissive to the point of being weak - quite the opposite actually 

An unhealed/wounded feminine shows the qualities of people pleasing, the victimhood, the self sacrificing, needing to be saved, or compromising on values and morals - these are just a few to be named, and all of which I possessed in the past - and many women may identify 

A healthy & healing feminine exudes a grounded nature that allows her to have boundaries, to be open and vulnerable, to ask for what she needs, while being intuitive and expressive in a healthy and nurturing manner, while maintaining qualities such as sensuality, confidence, grace, while also being fierce, and magnetic. 

And Fear & Shame 

Binds us in invisible chains 

Fear & Shame keeps us bound to being small, un-sparkly, dull, less than, and out of stepping into who we we’re meant to be 

As you read, I must add a trigger warning for those who were abused at a young age <3 

The work I have been doing in the last year has been all around rediscovering myself in a new way and really not much different than some of the women I work with in my practice.  I just happen to be a couple steps ahead of a few and many ahead of others. 

We are all working on  healing the feminine and masculine wounding from past relationships and childhood - wounding such as  sexualization at a young age that had us riddled with messages like, “shame on you” indicating it was our fault.  Not the fault of the persecutor. And then later, believe it had to be our fault because we had too much to drink and it was our responsibility to be alert and aware of those who would take advantage, as opposed to them being taught that you don’t take advantage of a girl when she’s in a vulnerable state - whether she “should’ve known better” or not.  These are just a couple to make known in a long list of trauma’s many women, like my clients, and me, have survived and are healing from

And for me, in the process of the healing, I have rediscovered a part of me, that had me sitting in fear. Fear of being more bold - and speaking truth and wisdom of lessons learned.  Fear of being more fierce and  putting words to my shame, to let it go and dissipate  (vulnerability is shame’s best enemy) , and the fear of being more in MY feminine - as it’s individual to each woman, just like the finger print, the voice, or the nature she carries. 

The Feminine quality that was the most challenging to embrace so far, has been sensuality - I was taught that if you were sensual, you were a temptress (that’s the “nicest word” I could use to replace the profanities I’ve been called) and you “deserved whatever you got” when it came to the awful ways a man would treat a temptress - as indicated in the prior sharing. 

Guess what.  No man that is healed and in his true masculinity would treat a woman as less than, simply because she was showing her sensuality and leaning into her feminine. 

Sensuality as a Healing and healthy Feminine energy, is soft, is sensual, it is nurturing, it is yummy! It Is all about living a life of ease, creativity, enjoying the present moment. It's also about listening to your needs, to your emotions, living with an open heart and radiating that beautiful feminine energy attracting a life of abundance and joy. 
BEAUTIFUL Right? 

While in the bible - it defines it as a term for sin alongside sexual immorality, impurity, evil thoughts, passion, and orgies.

In my opinion, a patriarchal definition rather than the intended state of being or living with an open heart and radiating energy that attracts abundance and joy…. 

It’s each to their own on the interpretation AND it’s no wonder women have shut this off, in their way of being as I speak of judgement and the fear I held. 

That’s just one example of many I could pull from 

It’s the point being, stepping into my genuine divine feminine era had me scared to death of the gross statements  and actions I had been wounded by so many years ago

So much so, that I had started a whole private instagram page that I could post about this content with out fear of judgement and retribution of those who were insecure or offended by what I had to say, or how I presented myself - and then I realized I wouldn’t be in Integrity with myself by keeping it private and hidden. 

As I have posted in the past about 

“There’s this consistent message on social media about “don’t air your dirty laundry on social media” which is true... 

to some point.... 

Most don’t want to hear about the daily drama BUT there is ALWAYS AN OVERALL MESSAGE  that can be shared!!! 

Sharing that message could be the one thing someone needs to hear or read to remind them of their worth, to tell them they aren’t alone, to say “hey. You have a choice!!”  

A woman in her healthy feminine energy doesn’t mean submissive to the point of being weak - quite the opposite actually 

An unhealed/wounded feminine shows the qualities of people pleasing, the victimhood, the self sacrificing, needing to be saved, or compromising on values and morals - these are just a few to be named, and all of which I possessed in the past - and many women may identify 

A healthy & healing feminine exudes a grounded nature that allows her to have boundaries, to be open and vulnerable, to ask for what she needs, while being intuitive and expressive in a healthy and nurturing manner, while maintaining qualities such as sensuality, confidence, grace, while also being fierce, and magnetic. 

And while I still hold some fear of the gross statements  and actions I had been wounded by so many years ago, I have also gained the wisdom of knowing such statements and judgements only come from the wounded/unhealthy masculines and feminines who are merely seeing a reflection of self judgement and self persecution 

See, judgement comes from the insecurities of those who dislike those things within - judgement is rarely about you 

And with that, I am reminded of a quote that I will shift the wording for the purpose of this literary piece “You will only ever be criticized by those who are less, never by those who are growing and striving to be more” 

Ladies, Stand in your Sensuality, Your ferocity, Your authentic and fearless nature, while holding yourself with grace and a peaceful nature.  You can be all of those things.   It’s not wrong.  Or immoral.  Or “un-lady like” 

It’s the feminine nature of a healthy and healing divine feminine that is the healthy balance of our inner being.  

Fear & Shame Binds us in invisible chains - BREAK THEM

Fear & Shame has kept us bound for far too long. 

You’re allowed to be all of you in all of the healthy feminine energy, you can possibly possess. 

** I am working on a short program that’s meant to lead women into their healthy and healing feminine energy!  If you would like to be added to the notification list, please drop us an email and we will add you to the email sent out to announce the launch!
I’m excited to bring you the opportunity to be a “Feminine Unleashed” 


** I am working on a short program that’s meant to lead women into their healthy and healing feminine energy!  If you would like to be added to the notification list, please drop us an email and we will add you to the email sent out to announce the launch!
I’m excited to bring you the opportunity to be a “Feminine Unleashed” 


Back to Blog